Why writing?

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I made two new year’s resolutions. The first: to write. I know that I need to flesh these out a bit, so here I go with writing:

I remember when I was younger – probably a teenager – and an adult I knew asked me if, given all the reading I did, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I said no, because I really had never thought about being an author. I read to read. But the question stayed with me through the years, as some questions do, and I’ve realized over time that I actually do want to be a writer.

I love words. I think by putting things onto the screen. I just found a 185 word document consisting of emails I sent during my graduate studies in Virginia. I wrote the bulk of my master’s thesis in one month, the same for my dissertation. Analyzing , organizing and creating commentary on the qualitative data I used for each study was sheer delight. For fun, I blog. I compose letters in my head. I have a file of ideas for articles and books. And if I’m really honest about what I want my life to look like, it would be utter dreaminess to split my time between being a mom and writing.

Yet with all the ideas and desire I have, this past year has not been writing-rich. The first half was the busyness of working and momming; the second half, full-on momming, developing diversity materials, and trying to figure out what to do next. Devouring books in my spare time. And through it all, avoiding writing because I just couldn’t figure out what to write or how to make it a priority amid the “what should I do?” angst. I kept trying to get other things out of the way to clear space for writing.

This year, that needs to change. I’m 41. If I want to do something in my life, now is the time. I have no job commitments. I have, actually, cleared up other things I was working on. And since writing takes time, the sooner I start, the sooner I’ll be there.

A quote from a friend’s Facebook feed recently has been resonating: “If we are not happy and joyous at this season, for what other season shall we wait, and for what other time shall we look?” (‘Abdu’l-Baha)

Writing is core to my being and happiness. The time is now.

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