Monthly Archives: January 2014

Effective Values Transfer


We were doing our nightly bedtime routine, which lately transitions from um-nums and a books to um-nums and stories about when we were small.

Husband started a story about an encounter with a bully when he was a kid, and how he learned that boy behaved that way because he wasn’t treated well at home. He explained that his father wasn’t nice to the boy, and that’s why he acted out.

Daughter asks: “Did he hit him?”
Husband: “Yes, I think he did.”
Daughter: “Did he give him chocolate?”
Pause, as husband and I exchange smiles.
Husband: “Yes, he didn’t give him good food to eat.”

Glad to know that our indoctrination worked!
(says she, after eating chocolate …)


Not a reading year


Not yet 3 weeks in, I’ve realized that this is not a reading year. Last year was a reading year. I read a lot. I escaped a lot. I imagined, roamed, learned, mentally edited, and gobbled a lot of books.

I have a strong feeling that this year is a doing year. Oh, I’ll still read, of course (hah! As if I could stop!). It’s just that, like breathing in for too long, the exhale must come. I sucked in for a year, and now need to let out all the ideas and percolating projects that last year nurtured.

Just completed my first full week of work in … years. 5 days of classes to help me start my new business. I’m a bit overwhelmed by the work involved, but more thrilled by the freedom and fun of creating WHATEVER I WANT. Whatever products, policies, educational topics, approaches, audiences … it’s all up to me. (Admittedly, marketing week is next week, and I think that’s when the reality of who wants to pay for what will come in … but for now, it’s really all wide open).

And as for the rest of life: baby fell asleep at 5:30 on the way home and is STILL sleeping. I’ve been working like a … like a self-employed worker, and now need to stop after a week of constant goingness.

New maturity


Watching your baby become a person is astonishing, magical, inspiring, and hilarious.

“I can’t do anything else, Uncle Nas. I’m peeling an egg.” As she peels an egg.

Also: “reading” a book tonight – she flipped through and recited almost all the words to one of her Babybug magazines. We’ve only read it maybe 3 times. I had no idea she knew the words. I watched and listened in awe. I asked her how she learned. “I listened to you read it.”

why I shouldn’t blog anymore


Today I started my self-employment course. It is going to be wonderfully exciting. Custom designing my own business! What could be more fun?

We talked about the importance of online reputation (not new information), and I realized with a sigh that what I put up on facebook is going to be connected with my business. I don’t know how blogging about my baby or about career angst is going to further said career. So I’m not sure right now if blogging is a good idea (particularly my current stream of consciousness process). I might need to stop until I can come up with a much more coordinated, focused, well-written blogging approach.

with that: I did my homework, packed my lunch, now to relax before bed.

Life, next phase


Tomorrow I start a month-long course to help me develop my own business. I have spent the past couple of weeks kind of dreading it, for a couple of reasons.

First, the hours. Full time! I haven’t done full time in years. No, wait … I’ve been doing MORE than full time with my child and home! I’ll miss her, and know it will be an adjustment for her, though she’ll be with her dad & nana when I’m away. Plus, those mornings and getting out the door …

My main worry, though, is over the basic premise: what is this business I’m trying to start, and do I even want my own business? A consulting business sounded great months ago when I first thought of it, but now I don’t know which of the different activities I proposed I actually want to do. Plus, there’s the whole “selling my services” to potential businesses: work and pressure.

However, this is the path I need to be on now. This is, as was pointed out by optimistic husband, a month-long chance to learn and develop a business idea that I’m actually excited about (to be determined), to get expert help in refining the idea, and to use this as a springboard for whatever comes next.

In other words, have fun and live in the moment. We can figure out the next step when we get there.

With this perspective in my heart, and my new year’s resolution to choose happiness in my head, I am going to do my best to be positive and get the most I can out of the coming month.

In preparation, I’ve vacuumed the house, packed a lunch, picked outfits for the week, and still have to meal plan, bake cookies, and pack my bag for morning. Daughter obligingly put herself to sleep at 5:30 (though she’s already woken up once), so I should be able to finish everything off in style.

I’ll keep you posted – have a great week!

Showing your mess


I like a clean house. I like it for myself and my child. I like it for guests. If someone’s coming over, I WILL clean up (maybe not hugely, but at least a bit). It’s not so much about being judged as it is liking to welcome people into a clean, attractive space.

Leaving aside how far our space is from meeting the “clean” and “attractive” requirements, I’m making choices that force me to let go of my “clean for company” habits.

I was out with a friend last night when I got a text – my presence was required at home for a tired girl. I had to run out of the restaurant before our appetizers arrived. She offered to drop off my half. When husband went down to get them (I was trying to get baby to sleep), I had him invite her up … and she came … and was in our very, very messy condo.

And look! I’m still alive! And we had a nice, if brief, visit, and I got to enjoy my pachos & edamame with her company!

The end.