Slowly Emerging Self-Awareness

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I’ve been wondering lately why I’m holding my breath, wanting to swear all the time, rushing everywhere, having a hard time concentrating at work and not enjoying life so much. I just figured it out over the past few days: I’m stressed!

Amazing deduction; it only took weeks and weeks to get there.

We’re living in the basement. It’s too small with not enough storage, is dark and constantly messy. We don’t have enough money right now. Renos continue. We have no idea what we’re going to do with this house and are constantly contemplating a wide range of dramatic options.

Stuff is happening at work, too; new opportunities, more work, growth and such. Great. Demanding. Stressful.

Oh, I turned 40, did you hear? Though it’s not such a big deal, it also is, and it kind of passed and is gone and I still haven’t reflected on it. Still have not found a measly hour to do my annual reflection and projecting for the next year.

Realizing I’m stressed is remarkably relaxing. Now that I know what the problem is, I can cut myself some slack. Of course I’m having a hard time, I’m stressed! I also potentially might take some things off my to do list. Maybe. We’ll see.

In any case, I chose to call my sister tonight after baby went to sleep instead of jumping right into work. And I think I’m going to call it quits now, too, for the computer – I’d rather fold laundry and watch TV and the other work can wait. It has to. I need my sleep.

BTW, part of letting some things go is making room for others. My links are updated – I removed some which, though great, I found I wasn’t reading, and added some new ones I’d like to explore. I’d be interested in a few blogs/links on doing Montessori at home with young kids, and/or doing art and other creative projects. I’d like to make more space for that, in a calm, non-stressed, peaceful way. You know.

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