Free Evening

Standard

It’s my Friday – the start of my weekend. My husband usually picks up baby on Thursday nights to give me some personal time.

It’s funny how little I look forward to what should be delightful!

I’m dealing with part of my anxiety right now by pumping before I leave the office. Going too long in between breastfeeding or pumping freaks me out as I still fear loss of my milk supply. And I thought it would give me a chance to breathe and reflect before heading out.

What will I do with my time? Well, I was considering productive engagements. Prepping for the online course I”ll be teaching in a couple of months. Or work on my paper, which has fallen off the radar.

Instead, I think I’ll shop. Why not?! I realize it goes against the decluttering urge, but I want to. I want to get some toys and clothes for my baby. I really honestly could use a pair of yoga pants and/or pajama bottoms as I run through those really quickly. And I simply do not have the focus, drive or energy to pursue something more productive at this point.

It’s been an exhausting week. I’m going to do what I feel like doing rather than anything I should do. And then probably, I’ll go home really really quickly because being away from my girl for so long just feels wrong.

So much for balance!! Life lately has felt like it needs to be about turning in: to family, myself, our home. That is what I need at the moment, so I’m going to enjoy it and not worry about other priorities. They will sort themselves out eventually.

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