Past Lives

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Today at work I had only one (fun) meeting, so I had lots of time to catch up on the projects that I haven’t been able to get to. I took the morning to put together a resource list for a workshop I helped present on employment equity and search committees. This entailed tracking down links to articles, preparing APA references, and providing a one-sentence summary of each. Along the way I read a number of the articles as well as a BC Human Rights Tribunal decision written by my supervisor that addressed some issues we were discussing recently.

All that searching, referencing, reading and writing catapulted me unconsciously back into graduate school. I kept picturing different scenes and people from Norfolk, craving the ocean, Mexican food, missing the campus, seeing friends in my mind, remembering the feeling of being young and free and ready to take on new adventures.

I also journeyed to fictional accounts of that life. Gilmore Girls are still a big one for me – time, smarts, cell phones and cars and eating out when you want. A glorification of the joyful excesses and cheap resources that make life in America so smooth and accessible for those in the have.

Then I came back to yoga class. Where we were attempting to center ourselves in the moment and in our bodies. My current body, my existing life, and my sore right shoulder (bursitis? night nursing? too much sugar? not enough omega 3s?). I was able to get at least 3/4 of the way into the class, plenty enough for me!

And, I resisted an offer of a kruller. Free for the taking. For though the Gilmore Girls ate all that is junky, I know that sugar aches my joints, ages my body and leads to disease. One donut on the road to recovery!

I wonder how I will reenact those and other past lives as my girl grows. I already see her as a little girl, not just a baby. She’s going to start learning and living experiences that will continue to catapult me backwards and forwards into lives I lived and dreamed of. I hope I can be in those moments with her, possibly enriching them with the aura of other lives but not supplanting reality (little, dark-eyed, mischievous girl) with fantasy.

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