First: how awesome to post to a blog on Feb. 29! Something you can do only once every 4 years.
This week has been a series of early, early nights. Basically, crashing in bed with baby, unable to rise. No idea why I’m so tired. One theory might be that I’m getting more sleep, therefore I’m craving more sleep. Or perhaps more stressed than usual, so wanting to escape into sleep.
In any case, tonight promises more of the same and I don’t mind. I’m blogging, going to brushy my teeth, and then, fingers crossed, fall asleep with baby. Aaah … bliss.
Progress on goals today: moderate. Have not really walked yet, BUT have done exercise at my desk while reading :). Super-fun and fun to watch, I’m sure! plies/deep knee bends, and lifting objects over my head (objects = my big binder of reference materials).
Have responded to emails as I read them.
And am now blogging, therefore fulfilling another goal.
Desk at home: we will see. I would like my workspace to feel more fun and inspire work, but it doesn’t really. Needs a purge. And also, I wonder, maybe I’d prefer a desktop computer at home to a laptop?? Don’t know.
In any case, thinking about happiness. Enjoyed this video and the reminder that 1) happiness comes first – and leads to well-being and productivity, and 2) happiness is within our control. Enjoy.
Wow. After midnight again.
Gave baby a bath at 7:30. A long bath. Got her out by 8, wrangled her into pajamas, tried to get her to sleep. By 8:40 she was reading books on my lap and I was crashing. Could barely keep my eyes open. But baby didn’t want to sleep. We turned the lights down, kept talking, giving milk, on and on, and she eventually slept. I couldn’t get myself out of bed so slept with her. Just up now to blog, hydrate, brush teeth.
Goals for tomorrow: walk. Find a few minutes to work on some non-work stuff at work. Clean my desk at home.
Work, work work. I feel the weight of a lot of it right now. Here’s what I plan to do about the stress and anxiety I’m experiencing.
1) Exercise. I need more. For my bones (recently found out they’re seriously weak – yech) and for my mental state.
2) Respond to emails as I read them. My replies may be short. And I may not read emails right away. But, to avoid doubling my work, I will, as much as possible, respond to emails as soon as I read them. An empty inbox (or at least, less full) will ease my mind.
3) Little by little. Day by day. Get some work done each day. Carve out time and do it.
4) Seize moments. Related to above. I’m catching up at work, and determined to stay caught up. I can squeeze in 15 – 30 minutes per day to work on something. Just have to figure out what. Will it be blogging, to get it done? Or the journal article I want to work on? Or course work? We will see. Oh, and exercise. YES 🙂 it will all fit.
5) Deep breathing. And prayer. And talking with friends. All good and important.
Today was more active than I’m used to. Up early. Groceries with baby – two stops. Haven’t done that in a long time. And incidentally, it reminds me of how busy I kept during mat leave, doing groceries a few times a week at multiple stores. WHY??? Keep it simple. During shopping today, I said no to many items I would have bought in the past. Don’t need the surplus, duplicates, extra. Less shopping is empowering.
Home, nurse, eat, play. Then I had time to wax my legs while watching a movie. Baby helped :). She rubbed some sticks up and down my legs. And when I wasn’t watching, crumpled up the wax strips and threw them out. Thanks baby!
We went to a funeral next – sad but glad I went. Baby fell asleep going there, then woke up part way through.
Finally: home, some rest but mainly mad dash to get everything ready to get to an engagement party tonight. rush rush rush … and baby really, really didn’t want to change her clothes to go. Cried going there. then had an awesome time running back and forth with us (mainly nana), eating, crawling, etc. etc.
Left when she was getting tired. Sorry not to be able to stay for the dance but feel it was the right time to leave with our girl. Still, it reminds me of the importance of doing things for myself, which I noticeably don’t do a lot of lately. Just finished reading “A weekend to change your life” by Joan Anderson and know I need to claim some space for myself. Just don’t know what that will mean.
Now: other 2 are sleeping, and I”m going to join them.
This afternoon I looked over at a baby with a poop face. We dashed to the bathroom and almost made it! Almost = a big hunk of poo fell to the floor mat as I lifted her onto the potty. Awesome! At least it was a lump and not a stream. I cleaned her up, sent her on her way, and sighed in acceptance of the fact that potty training is probably far, far in the future.
20 minutes later, I’m intensely occupied with pulling black sludge out of our bathroom sink drain. Baby comes in to play. She takes her toilet seat off the hook. She puts it on the floor, then fusses at me until I lift the toilet seat and eventually help her get it into the right position. Then she whines a bit more and I realize she wants to sit on the seat. So I lift her up and sit her on the seat … in her diaper. That should make her happy!
She fusses more. I decide to risk it and take off her diaper, hoping she’ll let me. Put her back on the seat. A few seconds later: she pees. And that’s when I finally clue in!! Smartie-cakes has been doing everything in her power to get herself onto the potty to go pee (dry diaper and all!) and I simply haven’t clued in.
Today was a bit long. Up toooo late last night, with baby’s late bedtime and frequent waking. No nap today – though I did get a massage, so no complaints. Lots and lots of intense play and walking wtih baby, who slept for maybe half an hour. She went to sleep on the breast at 5 something, and has been sleeping ever since (minus her 4 wakings so far). Feels like another long night to come.
And tonight I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed with work. There is so much that I want and need to do, and I simply don’t know where it will fit in. And then there’s that course I’m teaching coming up. I read things like this and know that I’m doing it for a reason. It still means a lot of work and time for me.
On that grumpy note, I’m off to bed.
Today I worked! It was brilliant!
Didn’t arrive until 9:30, but I settled right in, thanks to non-working email. I was also inspired by a “getting things done” list from Julie Morgenstern that I’d brought in to work, and focused on her “do not multitask” recommendation. So I cleared my desk and started to work through items one by one. Papers got filed, and articles I had meant to tackle were read and responded to.
Of course, I did multi task and the phone rang and there was all kinds of up and down and all-around-ing going on, but largely I managed to focus. And when I got hung up on one project, I switched to another instead of simply zoning out.
By the end of the day I had made reasonable progress on 4 or 5 things I was working on, cleared up a number of other small items, had a plan for work on Monday, and felt inspired by the process. I can get on top of the work I have to do by diligent focus and energetic attention.
And, I had time to visit a bit, take a lunch break, pump twice and leave by 4:45. Great!
what does this have to do with peace? Lots, though the connection in my writing has maybe not been as clear lately. In life lately, I”m trying to achieve a calm state of mind, happiness in my heart, accomplishment of necessary tasks and being in the moment. I think I’m a bit closer than I was a while ago. We’ll see how it continues to unfold