How to not have fun

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Hello grammarians: infinitive split deliberately. I actively engaged in “not fun having” today!

Step 1: procrastinate at work.

Step 2: beat yourself up about it.

Step 3: leave work late because you are trying to catch up.

Step 4: instead of enjoying a couple of hours of personal time while your husband picks up baby and brings her home, rush around madly doing high-speed urgent shopping, all the while worrying about how daughter is doing and feeling guilty for not being there with her.

Not having a cell phone doesn’t help, I realized, as a cell phone enables me to check in with husband and come home if need be.

Shopping had some okay moments but was not really joyful. That is a real shame, since why not make everything joyful if you have to do it? I think I”m at the end of this mad shopping spree and I’m glad. Necessary items have been purchased and now I can enjoy time and wearing things I like. I could get more, but I have enough and combining things creatively will be more rewarding than accumulating too much. I also have an outfit for the wedding, if I don’t change my mind about it, which is a relief. And a few items to return, but once that is done, it’s done. Aaah … stepping out of the mall again. It will be good.

I”m less sure how I can enjoy time away from baby. Admittedly, I don’t have to if I don’t want to. I”m very comfortable being attached to my baby and wanting to be with her most of the time. And I still do enjoy things I do without her, undobubtedly. It’s just that she’s my sweet, amazing baby girl and I crave being with her and I see no reason to deny this.

It’s Thursday night, end of my work-week, beginning of another full and fun (I will give it my best shot) weekend. Hope you all enjoy.

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