Undeserved Blessing

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Let’s face it: I can be a complainer.

I planned to get out of the house by 9 this morning to do our one errand: groceries from Nature’s Fare. Instead, pancakes took a while, then baby had to play, then poop, then resist being dressed, then play/walk. Plus other stuff. So we left the house by 10:45. And sure enough, a few blocks from the house she fell asleep. I was all ready to be irritated when we got to the store. Why couldn’t I have left the house earlier? Don’t tell me I won’t be able to do this errand for the second day in a row. NOW what am I supposed to do? Etc.

What actually happened: I got baby out of the car seat, took the stroller out of the trunk and set it up in the reclined position (why I didn’t do this first is unclear; I think I planned to literally carry her around the store, or else maybe I assumed she’d wake up within a few minutes). I put baby in the stroller and she barely stirred. I walked around the store and bought everything I needed, paid, and got some help walking things out to the car (they’re great that way). I put her back in the car seat and buckled in still-sleeping baby. We drove home. I unloaded the bags and filled up most of the pockets on the back-of-seat thingie. I brought in baby, who was starting to stir, and put her down in bed. She stayed asleep.

I unpacked all the bags. I updated the grocery list. Cleaned up a few things. Spent at least 15 minutes doing the reading for my writing project. Cleaned out parts of my stationery closet and got rid of some things (another pencil sharpener, 2 refillable pens – because if I haven’t bought refills in the past 5 – 10 years, I probably won’t any time soon – a small stack of bill-reply envelopes). Moved a messy bag of stationery stuff into a basket, cleaning out the basket first. Moved stuff around so the top of the filing cabinet is now useful and neat. Started cooking dinner, looking up a recipe for an Indian red bean curry. Emptied the dishwasher. Etc.

By the time baby woke up, I was relaxed, satisfied and grateful. I must, must remember to get some perspective. She’s a baby and things won’t always go according to plan. And be grateful because things usually go very, very well. And she’s awfully cute too.

Other purging: a pair of too-baggy baby pants; two grey zip-up hoodies, both wrong in their own way. One is a nice cotton cable knit and technically looks good on me, but feels too short and too heavy and not warm, I just am not drawn to wearing it. The other is an acrylic knit, getting ratty, with reindeer and snowflakes on the front. Why I thought this was still attractive I have no idea. Both are gone, and I”ve upgraded an old but warm, cozy and in good-shape wool pullover to my round-the-house-keeping-warm sweater. Even better! I have to take it off to breastfeed but that is not horrible.

Baby was asleep by 8:15 tonight. Oh blessed time.

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