As I’ve been in the mediation course the last 3 days I’ve been thinking more about my daughter and our relationship. This was my first serious stretch of time away from her. It was okay, but I realized that I definitely prefer maternity leave. And I loooooove my daughter and love being with her!
Today when I was at the training she twice pointed to my picture (her chubby pointy little pointer finger!) and said “mama”! My daughter knows my name! And tonight she leaned back, smiled at me and said “mama” 🙂 My heart melted, as it does so often for my sweet girl with her inspiring gestures.
My mom brought her to see me at lunch all 3 days so I got to cuddle and play with her a bit (and attempt to nurse – which barely happened – it really is hard to make a baby do something she doesn’t want to do!). And each time I saw her after being away she would look at me then slowly smile and reach for me. Melt!
Her screams have reached new dimensions of awesome. They are loud and excited and sometimes shrieky and always adorable.
Tonight, in spite of minimal naps today, she managed to stay awake until 10. We tried all the usual to get her to sleep but no go. For a while I just let her play and wander around as I took care of some chores around the house. Then when she was clearly ready for bed we tried nursing, bottle and rocking. There was crying and some tears as I rocked her and walked with her little over-tired body before she finally crashed on my shoulder. And though I’m exhausted tonight, it’s okay. I got to spend lots of fun time with my girl and that’s what matters. Perspective, priorities, peace.